The loss of a friend

On the night of the 24th, a good friend of mine decided to take his own life by jumping off the golden gate bridge. He was in a state of weakness and felt their was nothing he could do to better his situation. I had a moment of sorrow, but that soon faded and I was met with anger, frustration, disbelief, and lots of questions, and I wished so badly that there was something I could have done to prevent this. That somehow I would have run into him that day and caught on that something was wrong, and be able to talk to him, but I know that will never be possible. I've never been in a fight, never wanted to fight, but if I had to (even though I would have been smashed) I would have fought him if it would have just put some sense into his head. He left behind a wife and daughter, his own mother, and so many friends that cared for him, and for what? To escape your problems? Shit happens sometimes. You could have faced your problems and started anew. And the friends and family that really cared for you would be there for you when you needed it. He was a retired skin who was probably as tough as they come. He could dish it out and take it just as well. He could deal with that law and come out alright. But when it came down to the mental fight, I think it was too much for him and just ate him up.

God damnit Ques, I miss you.

Jah World

"Curse to the wicked snakes who try to snatch the truth away
Cursed be the ones who try to take our youth away
Peace to the black, the brown, the red, yellow, and white seed
We don't discriminate man over color/creed
They tried to snatch up our beats, son, and steal our culture
and German Catholics, whitewashing Roman sculptures
How dare you try to deny Allah's intelligence?
Kidnap the truth, and destroying the black evidence."
-Rza

The Invitation

by Oriah Mountain Dreamer (A Native American Elder)

Robin emailed this to me today. This is really beautiful and, I think, represents all that one should try to attain in a relationship. I think when someone finds a special person in their life that this is the core if it all. Nothing else should really matter except one another, and that both are true to themselves as well as their partner.

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking the fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow, if you have been opened up by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let ecstacy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can betray another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not a pretty day, and if you can source your life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver light of a full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't matter who you are, or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments."

Random stuff part tre

Here are some hip hop shows I got to check out recently.
This was a show @ the Fillmore with Hieroglyphics. It was a pretty good time over all. I was by myself and didn't know anyone, plus there was wed smoke everywhere and the merch was pretty lame, but I still enjoyed myself. Also, Del was a couple sheets to the wind, so he was making crazy speeches in between songs, and he came back out after the rest of the group left and tryed to keep going, but he was soon led off stage.

This is a shot from the GZA @ the phoenix. He did most of the liquid swords album. This was pretty bunk. He didn't memorize all of his lyrics and he had no energy at all. He would just pase back and forth with one hand in his pocket as he rapped. Killa Priest showed up unexpectedly and made things fairly enjoyable though.

Part deux

I got this from my moms for xxxmas. It's the old school stuff (sarsaparilla - I had no idea it was spelled like that btw. haha) It's made up in Columbia California (an old gold rush town which I had never heard of. see? you can learn a lot from root beer haha) It's got a bit of a licorice flavor that comes through, but it contains no fennel or licorice flavoring. This is made with only 8 ingredients.
Along with this came a bottle of syrup so you could make your own stuff. Just add your own sweetener and soda water. I'm going to try to make a batch of it with some agave nectar instead of a bunch of sugar and see how it comes out.
http://www.columbiacalifornia.com/

Random stuff part 1

The following posts will consist of photos I've had on my phone for a little while/ random things I've been up to.


This is some new ginger beer (Bundaberg) I discovered at the Berkeley bowl a while ago. It's really good and naturally brewed with big pieces of ginger in it.
http://www.bundaberg-brew.com.au/ There are some pretty good looking recipes on there (pancakes, onion rings, and chicken' nuggets?! heck yeah)

Words with meaning

Straight edge is just a name for the human ability to not need, or do without. Straight edge has never been "the straight edge", it is not a goal to be attained, it is not an entity to be worshiped. It is personal, it is individualistic. It symbolizes all of our ability to look deep inside ourselves - beneath the fashion, beneath the music, beneath the social & cultural indoctrination and discover who we are, free from outside influence. Straight edge is not a source of empowerment in and of itself. It is only a starting point of understanding what oppresses our thoughts and our actions. It is the beginning of a self evaluation on ones own terms, that transcends the accepted standards of our material reality.
-Monster X